What Causes Divorce and How to Fix it
posted on November 13, 2017
After decades of research, Dr. John Gottman determined what was causing couples to split up and how to fix this problem from happening.
“It’s normal to feel annoyed at your partner or to disagree on things, but when you allow yourself to reach a level of contempt or disgust for him or her, that’s when McNulty says it becomes unhealthy.”
Couples that ignore problems and don’t talk them out are at a higher risk of divorce down the road.
“Partners who are headed towards divorce have the following tendencies: They become angry and use what we call the ‘four horsemen of the apocalypse or negative patterns of communication, which are criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness”
Some couples will stop trying to talk it out and give up. This will cause distance and it will feel like you are living with a roommate rather than a spouse. Signs like these usually mean the relationship is headed toward a divorce, but if you are both still arguing and trying to work things out this means you have not reached the point of surrendering.
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How to Stay Positive in Your Marriage
It’s common to be dealing with a one-sided marriage. For example, “I want my marriage to work, but my wife thinks there isn’t anything wrong.” and “I want to go to counseling, but my husband refuses.” Most couples will think that ending the relationship is the answer, but there is still hope for the relationship to work. Both partners need to be committed to getting things back on track. If you need a little bit of help something like marriage counseling might be a good option for you. In this article, they have made a list of suggestions to help....