How to Fight Correctly
posted on November 29, 2017
Relationships can be tricky. You could be in the middle of doing something seemingly innocent with your partner: “having dinner with friends, or walking your dog against the backdrop of a gorgeous sunset”. Then a sensitive issue comes up. Your partner is now staring at you angrily over something you’ve said. Now it feels like “you’re standing against, not with, each other”. “Our certainty that we are right increases, and we loudly or silently move apart”.
Linda Carroll has been a marriage counselor and relationship coach for 35 years and testifies, “I’ve seen every type of conflict under the sun”. She shares some of the things she has learned over her career about how to fight right below.
Remind yourself that your partner is not the enemy.
Practice emotional regulation.
Stick with one issue.
Slow things down.
Work with your body.
Imagine there is a bridge between you and your partner.
Recognize when to put it away, when to repair, and when it becomes too hot a topic and you need to see a professional.
Even though relationships are different, couples will tend to fight over the same issues. The success lies in how the conflict is managed. To read about the steps of fighting right in more detail, you can read this article.
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